English Language challenges

To begin with, I want to clarify that English has always been very difficult for me, the truth is I never liked it, I am a person who really doubts if at some point in my life I will really be able to learn the language and form a sentence in my head without problems, at school I was horrible, I always got a lot of anxiety in these classes due to how little I could understand, and the great difficulty I had to do assignments and tests, while I excelled in my other subjects in English it was the worst, well and to this day inside the university it is still the same, I am terrified of having to speak in English, making videos I think it has made me cry more than once from just stress and anxiety, but hey we have to go through the courses, I need to improve many aspects of my English starting with expanding my vocabulary, knowing how to formulate ideas without problems, and dare to speak it without giving me a panic attack, I plan at some point in my life to be able to have a teacher articulate with which I can develop, because the fact of having to speak in front of more people or that they ask me something in class is something terrible for me, because they would realize my terrible command of the language, outside of class I do not occupy English, I only used it two years ago that I went to the United States and I was forced to use what little I knew in order to communicate.